of marriage Disappointed because

In marriage (especially the wedding day is not long ), the rarely seen growing in step, psychological needs are the same couple. the couple Step with , one more in need of psychological space , the other the more need for intimacy the phenomenon of , will bring the two sides the pain . However, most of the marriage, go through a similar kind of " production of pain. " marital relationship Into the individual on the , the two sides may have a felt cheated . the feeling The more intense , the couple 's conflicts are more intense. caused by the couple This feeling reasons for several .

1. Marginal utility of the problem. When I was young , of Taiwan supplies poor , the first taste of ice cream , taste best . After coming to America at any time ice cream to eat , no as the first less memorable feeling . love The same is true in symbiotic period the early , everything is so fresh and beautiful, as long as with each other together, hearts full of joy. because of each other is always smiling Compliment you, praise you, increase your self worth. Time goes by, gradually lost freshness , the other side appreciate you and make you excited , joy the ability of increasingly reduced . Alone and each other with , can no longer make you satisfied.

2. before marriage In order to get each other's love , both sides regard the their best side performance of out , how many hiding the other do not like side. with They fall in love , a great his ideal dreamer image of projected onto each other body , and then fell in love with his own project that image.

Each of the lovers most experienced this love early each other landscaping stage of . They were willing to go the carpet the other side of , the promise of life, stay together , through thick and thin promises, often because they subconsciously are wishful thinking to think that , " he will always and marriage , like love me, appreciate me, pay attention to me , Accept me. as long as with him , even if does not do anything , he would take the initiative to bring me happiness . " marriage , when this sweet better feeling gradually fade away, also found that spouses than originally expected less the ideal when , feel cheated wells . I thought: "I still as before did not change Yeah, why he has changed ? the past, he obviously have the ability to bring me happiness, why is with him no longer there sweet happiness ? he can do it , and Unwilling to meet my heart the needs of , he was not on purpose ? "So , like not being met children as , in order to achieve their goals , both sides may be used playfully, to please the way , and then high pressure , blaming, angry , to provoke Other guilt means of force the other into submission . Unfortunately, this is the high-pressure manipulation way of (coerciveprocess), is difficult to bring the each other desire to meet , but let the couple into hurting each other a vicious cycle of . As mentioned earlier, and the couple to each other took the wrong electric blanket switch in general, one the more need to reduce the psychological distance , the other more in need of psychological space. pursue intimacy Party to with a crying, angry punishment pressure will only make the other spared further.